Melly Was Here

wife, mother, teacher, runner, writer, lover, fighter

Things That Terrify Me

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What lies beyond this door: The Boys’ Bathroom.

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All of the things that could go wrong with our classroom pets.

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The pretend scenario that is happening in my House Area.

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This enormous bill board finger. I have heard the same lawyer has a bill board with a giant ear somewhere in the city. *shudder*

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Why there is a big rock on this utility cover. Is someone trying to keep something down there?

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The fact that I have lived in Texas for 10 years and have never seen this type of bug. How many more bugs are out there that I haven’t seen? That are lurking in the shadows?

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Nacho cheese.

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At the Pool

Summer is almost here and it’s hot.  It’s only going to get hotter.  So, I have to take Butch and Sundance to the pool.  As much as I would like to sit inside and read all day, I can’t do that.

Last night, I mentioned to Sundance that I would take him to the pool.  It was the margarita talking, but the damage was done. He woke me up at 7:00 this morning telling me to get up.  It was time for the pool.  I managed to put him off until 10:30, but then I really had no choice.

I have a rather bad attitude at the pool.  There are a lot of people I don’t know and, to be honest, my family makes a spectacle of themselves in the water.  Butch has got to be the loudest child ever.  Sundance sometimes stims and does things that people don’t understand.  Waiting in line at the slide is hard (although most of the life guards are very cool about that), he likes to play with babyish toys that belong to the younger children there and when he gets hungry, he gets cranky.  I won’t even talk about how hard it is at the beginning of the season to get that boy out of the pool when it is time to go.  He has to relearn all the rules all over again and it just puts me in bad mood.

I just know people are judging us.  So, I have a bad attitude.  I do a lot of preemptive judging.

I look like this:

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I’m saying, “I don’t approve of you,” with this face.

Sometimes, I am more direct:

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Do you see me looking right at you? I am openly disapproving of you and your ways. Your pool ways.

But, then today, I decided that I was being ridiculous.  I can’t spend another summer with that attitude and they don’t allow vodka at the pool.  It was time to change things.

First, I remembered that I have a new pool bag that is awesome in every way.

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Thanks, IKEA.

Then, I looked over at my beautiful boy, Butch, entertaining the little kids.  I told their mom to make sure to tell him if he was bothering them.  She smiled and said that he was a really wonderful young man.

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He is pretty cool, isn’t he?

Then, Sundance came over and talked to me for a while.  He is so happy at the pool.  He’s always been a water boy.

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Happy Sundance.

I decided that I am going to be more friendly and outgoing at the pool – like I am in every other situation in my life.

I practiced my new pool looks:

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HI! Welcome to the pool!

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Wooohooo! You’re here! You’re at the pool! So am I!

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Hey, you, looking good, here at the pool.

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No really, looking gooooood!

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Here, we are at the pool. Everything is OK.

I figure that either I’ll make a bunch of new friends or everyone will think I am nuts.  If it’s the latter, no worries, I’ll just figure out a way to smuggle in the vodka.

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Quote of the Week

“Mrs. W, monkeys have sharp penises.”

“Um, OK, thanks for the heads up, pal.”

His parents are science teachers.

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Take a Ride on the Boobie Bus!

So, as you all know, I am forty now. So are the boobs. You know what that means! Mammogram. I know that there are all kinds of statistics out there about early detection and a better survival rate. I am too lazy to look them up and cite them here, but I know they are out there. I mean, common sense, right?

I got an email from the Health and Wellness chick at my school. They were going to offer free mammograms at one of the high schools on a mobile mammogram unit. Or, as I like to call it: a boobie bus. They really couldn’t have made it any easier. Which was really cool because I have a tendency to put important stuff off if it requires too much effort. I just had to email and make an appointment. Then, on Friday I left school a little early (thanks to my awesome principal) and jumped on the Boobie Bus.

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The Boobie Bus

I checked in and got my disrobing instructions. The nurse made sure to tell me three times to disrobe from the waist up only. I couldn’t help but wonder if she was telling me that because some people have come out naked or if I looked liked the type of person who would come out naked. I was a little flustered from the drive over. Friday traffic can be crazy. There’s a good chance she asked me because she was under the impression I was the type to come out with my butt and other girl parts enjoying the breeze (the bus was air-conditioned).

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Here I am in my robe. I would like it noted that I have my pants on.

I got dressed and waited for a few minutes until it was my turn. The technician was really cool. She explained to me what she was going to do and she told me that leaning in was the most important thing to do. The more I leaned in, the better the images she could get and the faster this whole thing would go.

Now, I’m not a shy person so dropping my robe was not difficult for me. I mean, this tech was a woman and honestly, I can’t even imagine how many boobs she’s seen in her career. I couldn’t help but feel a little silly, though. I hate the unknown. I really do. And, I’m not that great of a listener, so listening to directions is hard for me.

She came around behind me and asked me lean it. I was bound and determined to be an EXCELLENT LEANER. Then she lifted my boob and placed it on the machine plate thingy. It was just a little weird having another person lifting the boob. Not many people have touched my boob in my life, let alone lifted it up. Then, she told me to lift my arm up and LEAN IN. I tried my best. The biggest issue was that there was the machine in the way and I had to smush my face against it, with my arm up and my boob between two pieces of glass. All while staying completely still.

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Reenactment

 

My dear friend, Glo, who has been riding the Boobie Bus for a few years now, told me not to look down. She said that it was very disturbing to see your boobie smushed flat like a pancake with a nipple. I didn’t look down. I looked up. I didn’t want to be disturbed.

It hurt, I’m not going to lie. The tech was really fast, but damn. She took some extra images of my left boobie. It was a little sore the next day.

An hour later, they called and said that they want to see me again. They want to look at the left one a little closer. I’m not going to worry yet. Even if there was something there (I don’t feel a lump or anything abnormal) we are catching it early. Early detection is the key. I take comfort in the fact that whatever it is, if it’s anything, I went it and got it checked early. I am proud of myself for that – being on top of it.

If you are thinking you need to go in and get your girls checked, do it. If you have a history of breast cancer in your family or if you’re forty, don’t avoid it because you’re scared. It’s not that big of a deal. It’s fast and so worth it. Because there are people who love you and need you to be around.

 

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