Melly Was Here

wife, mother, teacher, runner, writer, lover, fighter

I Only Complained Twice Yesterday

And, one was meant as a joke.

It got me thinking about what I say and why I say it.  I used humor a lot.  I wonder if my humor comes across as too negative.  And, I wonder if I should reevaluate the way I joke around.

I’m going to table that and work on it later this month when I have less on my plate.  Anyhoo….

Today, I am going to work hard at not yelling at my children because they are driving me nuts right now.   Butch is in his room for an hour and a half and Sundance is probably going to be following him soon.

I love that they can do their own laundry now, but damn they have some attitude when they want to.

That’s not really a complaint, more of an observation.

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I Blew It By 6:15

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Last night, I committed to going 24 hours without complaining. This morning, I woke up complaining. About stupid stuff I have no control over. Then, I went to work and complained more about stuff that really wasn’t so bad.

I’m going to give it another try tomorrow.

Now, I do have a self deprecating humor sometimes. I don’t mind making people laugh at my expense. But, I’m going to count that. That’s a complaint. None of that tomorrow either.

You reap what you sow.

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Challenge Accepted

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I’ll report back tomorrow night.

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L.L. Bean Just Won a Customer

Back when Butch was in Kindergarten and Sundance was in preschool I bought them new backpacks from LL Bean.  I bought them each a Book Pack.  One in red and one in blue.  I spent a little more for them than I ever had  for  something like  a backpack,  but figured it would be worth it since they had a lifetime guarantee.

Then, six years later, the zipper on Butch’s backpack broke.  I called L.L. Bean, and explained what happened.  They didn’t even ask any questions.  They just sent me a link to a postage paid mailing label and told me that the item was on back order and it might take a while (it was back to school time).  I put that bad boy in a shoe box and shipped it off.

Yesterday, UPS delivered a brand new red Book Pack.

That easy.  I am very impressed.

I admire that.   I admire a company that not only stands by its products, but doesn’t make you feel bad for expecting it to do so.

Thanks, L.L. Bean, for respecting me and my hard-earned dollar.  I’ll be back.

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I Have a Bad Habit of Biting Off More Than I Can Chew

I may have done that again.  You see, sometimes I don’t like to choose between two things I want.

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On December 7th, San Antonio hosts the Dirty Girl Mud Run.  I love that run.  I did it last year and had a great time.  I can’t NOT do it.  I’m trying to round-up a bunch of ladies to do it with me.  I already have a few girls going and it is guaranteed to be a blast with just them, so I am looking forward to it!

But, that night is San Antonio’s very first night-time half marathon, the Illuminations Half.  It sounds so cool.  I’ve only done one other night event and I thought it was awesome.  And, the medal is so pretty.  And, I love the idea of running an event every year since it started and here’s my chance to do that.  I just have to do this one too.  And, I’d really like to cut at least 15 minutes off my Disney Half Time.

So, December 7th is going to be a big day for me.  I need to get back to strength training, especially my knees and ankles.

I think I can do it.  I think I can chew all of this.  Won’t know unless I try, huh?

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10 Things I Feel You Should Know About Me Before This Relationship Goes Any Further

1.  I always carry my Kindle or a paperback with me in my purse or car.  You never know when you might get stuck somewhere and have time to read.

2.  Museums make me cry.  The world is so big and there’s so much to learn.   You could study your whole life about one subject – fish, for example – and still never learn all there is to learn about that one subject.  There will always be more to learn about fish.  How beautiful is that? How beautiful is this big, crazy world?

3.  I love dogs.  And if you don’t, I will feel sorry for you and think there is something wrong with you.

4.  I like cats too, but they scare me.  They are untrustworthy.

5.  I am pretty confident and secure and I think people who know me don’t realize that I am also very sensitive.  And, I sometimes worry that people I like don’t like me back.

6. I am annoyed by many things.  Many, many things.

7.  I do an awesome job of hiding my anxiety from everyone but Lance.

8.  I have a zombie plan.

9.  I bite my nails.

10.  The word, “retard,” as a put down  infuriates me.  If you use it and I hear or read it, I will respectfully call you on it. I will explain that it is hurtful and offensive.  If you give me crap about it and/or continue to use it,  I cannot be your friend.

And, this concludes the first installment of “Things You Should Know About Me.”

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I Swear I’ve Been Taking My Meds…

…but I still feel so overwhelmed and stressed!  I hate that.

There are just so many things I want to learn about.   Things that I think would improve our lives.  All these ideas swirling around in my head.

For example, one of my favorite shows is Extreme Couponing.   I don’t think it is possible to extreme coupon here in San Antonio (those  people are always shopping at Piggly Wiggly and Winn Dixie and have to have subtitles on the screen when they speak, so I’m pretty sure they are in the deep south), but I’m sure that I could do some Less Extreme Couponing.  But, I need to take the time to learn how to do it.  Time, my old foe.

I also want to learn about essential oils.  There is a kid in my class that comes to school and smells so good.  Seriously, smelling his little head calms me.  I also put a lavender air freshener in the nap room and the kids have been sleeping so well.  I know there is something to all of this, but when I do a Google search and get a million and one results, I get overwhelmed and end up eating chocolate.  Google, we have a love/hate relationship.

I’ve been researching grad schools.  That’s all I’m going to say about that.  It scares me to death.

The boys’ rooms are a mess.  Sundance needs to be taught to stay organized (and, first I need to learn how to do that myself), Butch’s room needs a coat of paint and we need to seriously toss and donate some toys.

My classroom needs revamping and reorganizing.  I have a crapload of paperwork to do.  The garage looks like a garbage dump (and I want to have a stockpile in there one day).

I want to work on my writing.  I haven’t even looked at my children’s stories in months.

This really isn’t a case of trying to be Supermom.  That ship sailed long, long ago.  It’s not me comparing myself to other women, either. I stopped doing that in my 20’s.   I think it is just that I have so many interests and so many things I want to do, I find it hard to prioritize.  Time management has never been one of my strengths.   I know I do this to myself.

Ack!

If you need me, I’ll be under the bed.  Wait, no I won’t, I need to vacuum under there first.

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20 Movies From Back in the Day That I Will Force My Tween To Watch

Butch is growing up.  He’s trying new things.  He  went to his first dance yesterday.  He said he tried to ask a girl to dance, but chickened out.  So, he just danced.  And he had a wonderful time.

It got me thinking about when I was that age.  Movies were very important to me.  VCR’s were kind of new and going to the video store on a Friday night was my favorite thing to do.    My boys like movies too.  We love to snuggle up on the couch and watch a movie together.

And, I mean, come on, there was no decade like the 80’s for movies.  They were innocent and corny, funny and exciting.

They’ve watched Ghostbusters and Raiders of the Lost Arc.  Butch didn’t want to watch those, but then enjoyed them enough that he had to admit that I was right.  Oh, and last weekend, he watched Die Hard with me and loved it.

Here are 20 more I will require Butch, my dear tween son, to watch in these ever so important years.

1. Footloose

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2. The Goonies

3. The Princess Bride

4. Gremlins

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5. Sixteen Candles

6. The Breakfast Club

7. Uncle Buck

8. Weird Science

9.  Red Dawn

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10.  The Great Outdoors

11. War Games

12. Big

13. Back to the Future

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14. E.T.

15. La Bamba

16. Stand By Me

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17. Three Men and a Baby

18. Rain Man

19. Teen Wolf

20. Pee Wee’s Big Adventure

So, if you see me at Walmart, digging through the bargain movie bin know that  it’s for my boy.  My sweet, innocent boy who is growing up so so fast.   Maybe while we are watching these movies, I can keep him closer to me for a little longer.

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Have You Had Your Boobies Checked?

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Ok, here’s the thing: boobs are awesome.  But, they can also kill you.  Since it is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I feel the urge to bring this up.  Again: Boobs are awesome.

Mammograms are not that bad.  I did it back when I turned 40.  I took a ride on the Boobie Bus.  Then, I even had to go back to get Lefty checked.

I’m ok.  No cancer.  And, what a relief to know that.  I’ll be getting The Girls checked again in April, when I turn 41.  It’s like a present to myself: taking care of The Girls.

If you are over 40, go.  Just go and get them checked. If you are over 20, you should be doing exams once a month, to make sure there are not any suspicious lumps.  And, if you find one.  Go get it checked out.  Be kind to your boobies!

Here is how to give yourself an exam:

Breast Exam Video  

Here is some info about mammograms, if you are afraid of the unknown (but really, it’s just your boobies getting squished between two pieces of plastic):

What to Expect On the Boobie Bus

So, what are you waiting for?  Go!

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Setting My Goals by the Way I Define Myself – Fighter

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Seven years ago, my baby boy was diagnosed with autism.  I cried for three weeks.  And, then my husband -my smart kick ass husband sent me an article about autism being treated with biomedical interventions (diet and supplements). I read it and then threw away all the dairy in the house.  A week later, my three-year old son who had never spoken a sentence said to me, “You’re beautiful.”  It was the beginning of my amazing  little boy growing and learning and turning into the 10-year-old that he is now.  Of course, we still have a long way to go – but we have the fight in us.  I do.  My man does.  My boys do.  Autism can kiss my ass.

I manage anxiety and depression.  I think it started with the birth of my first son.  Post partum depression that was never treated.   Then, it was event after event – some that I didn’t choose or have control over – that just added onto the load I was carrying on my back.  A few years ago, I fell apart.  Of course, I worked with a few people at the time that kicked me when I was down and that didn’t help either.

I honestly don’t know how I got out of bed and went to work in the morning.

I started therapy and am now on anti anxiety meds.  But, there are times I can feel those old feelings bubbling up, right below the surface.  Times I get anxious about raising my boys right or times I get sad missing my brother or my dad.  Times I get overwhelmed or angry at the people I mentioned before.

But, I fight it.  With the help of my family and friends – and Lexapro – I fight it.

Those are my big two: Autism and Anxiety.  They are what I fight.  I will never stop fighting to  help  Sundance overcome his disability.  I don’t want to start a big debate, but I believe very strongly that autism can be treated.  It isn’t easy, but that’s what I believe.

I will never stop fighting my anxiety, because I cannot go back to how I lived back then.  I cannot put my family through that again.  Ever.

One of my goals that I think falls under this category is to be more informed about the world around me.  For a long time, I didn’t read or watch the news.  I just couldn’t handle other people’s bad news.  I was too sad.  But, now, I’m ok.  I can handle it.  I need to be more informed.  Because I am a fighter and some people need help with their fights.

There are good fights out there. There are things that are worth fighting for.  Health, beauty, goodness, justice.  And good fights need good people.

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