Melly Was Here

wife, mother, teacher, runner, writer, lover, fighter

Setting My Goals By the Way I Define Myself – Mother

on October 9, 2013

I’m not going to lie, I’m a pretty good mom.   I mean, both my boys, Butch (12) and Sundance (10) are amazing and quite adorable young men.  It must mean I’m doing something right.  Right?  Of course, I also did an outstanding job of picking out a man to make them with.  Yep, all me.

I enjoyed the boys when they were little.  I was a stay at home mom.  We didn’t have a lot of money, but I loved being home.  I loved the trips to the aquarium and the walks to the park.  The pajama days and the slow, lazy afternoons in front of Nick Jr. or on the swing set in the backyard.

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I remember people telling me to treasure every minute.  I think I did.  I remember saying to myself, “He is only going to be two years, three months and six days for this one day.  He will be different tomorrow.  He’ll be older. I need to enjoy this moment.  I’ll never get it back.”

I lived every moment, even moments I was up to my elbows in poop and/or vomit and/or snot, so I could look back and know that I was IN every moment.

But, now that they are bigger, I think I have lost some of that wonder.

I LOVE having big boys.

Butch, in all his tweeness, is so funny and bright.  And, really, for a twelve-year-old he is pretty responsible.  I don’t have to do anything to help him get ready for school in the morning except maybe remind him to put his binder in his backpack.  I don’t even have to lay out his clothes for school anymore. He never lies, he is respectful and kind. He does enjoy inappropriate cartoons, but no one is perfect.

Sundance is growing up too. He’s so brave and sweet and bright.  While his autism used to be such a barrier for him, we are not seeing that so much anymore.  He’s also become so much more independent than he was even six months ago.   He’s eager to help carry in the groceries and can tell us about his entire day at school now. As I am typing this, he is sitting next to me with his homework. He needs very little prompting from me to get it done (what a relief that is, I can tell you – shout out to Ms. V, his amazing teacher!).

There’s a lot we can do now that we never could do. There are movies we can go see, restaurants we can enjoy, conversations we can have. I can sleep in on a Sunday and not have to worry about anyone juggling knives or burning the house down. It’s nice.

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But, now that I am a work outside of the home mom, I think I rush through the day without really taking the time to just be in the moment with my sons. There’s so much to do every day just to get ready for the next day! I wonder if I’m missing this moment. Today. The day that Butch is twelve years, three months and twenty-eight days. The day that Sundance is ten years, one month and ten days. Did I take a moment to appreciate the fact that Butch rode his bike to school for the first time ever today? And that he did an awesome job on his chores? Did I take a second to thank God that Sundance was able to hold a conversation with us at dinner? That he picked out his own clothes this morning?

My goal as a mother is to slow down. Just slow down and talk to my boys. Slow down and listen to my boys. To save my best for them; leave the stress of work at work.

To just be in the moment. With them.


3 responses to “Setting My Goals By the Way I Define Myself – Mother

  1. “Did I take a moment to appreciate the fact that Butch rode his bike to school for the first time ever today? And that he did an awesome job on his chores? Did I take a second to thank God that Sundance was able to hold a conversation with us at dinner? That he picked out his own clothes this morning?”

    Yes, you did. You are awesome.

  2. barbboser says:

    It is so important to cherish every moment with your kids, but time still flies! This was a great post 🙂

  3. Sarah says:

    Great words! Sound like you’re a great mom! Thanks for the reminder for me too!

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