Melly Was Here

wife, mother, teacher, runner, writer, lover, fighter

These Boots

on February 12, 2014

My big brother died almost 13 years ago.  I still miss him.  Everyday.

When my mom moved to town, she went through some boxes of his things.  She came across the cowboy boots she bought for him right before he got really sick.  I wanted them, thinking they would fit me.  They don’t.  He had pretty small feet.  Mine are enormous.  He also had better hair, by the way.  But, I digress.

I didn’t know what to do with them.  I wanted to keep them, but I have a clutter issue.  I didn’t want to sell them or give them away.  Couldn’t throw them away.  He was excited about them.  He liked them.  When I looked at them, I smiled.

I took them to my classroom and put them in House Area, next to the dress up clothes.   My students noticed them right away.   During our Worktime (free choice), someone always has them on.   Even when they are fighting over them, it makes me smile.  Because these beautiful little people, who I love so much, are enjoying something that belonged to someone else who I love.  It just feels right.

I don’ t think about the fact that he only got to wear them a few times.  I don’t think about how his death left a hole in me that will never be filled.  I don’t think about how a part of me – that part that ate cereal on Saturday mornings and stayed up late over Christmas break playing the Atari – died when he did.

I think about these kids.  These beautiful little souls.

I think about their lives – their futures – and where their boots will take them.

3 responses to “These Boots

  1. Perfect way to honor your brother. With joy. I’m so sorry for your loss.

  2. Amy Nunn says:

    That was beautiful.

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